Book Review - Am I Called? by Dave Harvey

To blaze a trail is to spot or mark made a tree by painting or notching or by chipping away a piece of the bark to indicate a trail or boundary. A trail blazer, thus, is a person who marks a trail through a wilderness area for the benefit of others. This method of navigation is no Global Positioning System. Think more along the lines of Hansel and Gretel. In the writing of Am I Called? The Summons to Pastoral Ministry, author Dave Harvey has blazed a trail for those on the journey of determining if they have been called to pastoral ministry. Harvey begins by discussing the journey. He follows this by marking a trail to the desired destination. And as discussed, this is not a pinpoint precision process. Harvey uses ‘blazes’ to help travelers to find their way through the wilderness which is embodied in the question, Am I called? The signposts the author leaves for pilgrims to find a path are presented as questions: Are you Godly?; How’s your home?; Can you preach?; Can you shepherd?; Do you love the lost?; and Who agrees? Finally, Harvey finishes with some help for those who determine that indeed they are called but will be waiting a while before they see this summons come to fruition.

The Journey

Harvey begins by describing the journey by connecting the call to ministry with one’s identity is Christ. The author states that the call to ministry always follows the call to Christ writing “the call for our salvation precedes and grounds all other callings” (36). Therefore, we must occupy ourselves with the Caller and with the gospel.  He follows this with a discussion of the context of this call; the local church. “Let’s face it. If you’re called to pastoral ministry, you’re being called to the local church.” (57)

The Blazes

Harvey has marked out the journey with markings in the form of questions. These questions are to aid with self-evaluation as well as prepare one for the evaluation of others. These questions are developed by the author from 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1.

1. Are you Godly? “Among all the biblical requirements for the called man, gospel-empowered character seems to be most prominent.” (81)
2. How’s your home? “One of the most striking things about the biblical qualifications for pastors is Scripture’s assumptions that the home reveals and validates the leader.” (92)
3. Can you preach? “The man divinely called is graced by God to lead through the amazing ministry of preaching.” (115)
4. Can you shepherd? “The shepherd is a guardian with boots on the ground, ready to be used by the Chief Shepherd to guide and protect his flock.” (135)
5. Do you love the lost? “The gospel is for everyone, which means the summons to be a pastor doesn’t stop with the saved.” (150)
6. Who agrees? “Find some way to get people close enough to you to be part of the adventure of external confirmation.” (178)

The Waiting

Harvey gives the prospective pastor-in-waiting several preparatory actions while waiting under the summons. He encourages those who confirm their calling to evaluate their desires, start serving, pursue a vocation, pursue counsel, study, mature, get one’s house in order, and patiently persevere.

This book, like Harvey’s other titles, is full of self-effacing humour and enlightening anecdotes. It is interspersed with biographical insights into well-known pastors from the church’s history. It is easy to read and, as is hopefully clear from the above, it is very practical. I think this would be an excellent book for those considering the pastoral ministry or those who think some insight into this process would be beneficial. I was educated and edified in the reading of this book.

C. J.'s leave of absence

This post by Justin Taylor is of significant interest to me. C. J. Mahaney wrote a book that has had and is having a profound influence on me; Living The Cross-Centered Life. Also, Sovereign Grace Ministries take a doctrinal stance that is close to my own. I'll be praying for C. J. as well as SGM.

“Why I’m Taking a Leave of Absence”

C.J. Mahaney writes:

Over the last few years some former pastors and leaders in Sovereign Grace have made charges against me and informed me about offenses they have with me as well as other leaders in Sovereign Grace. These charges are serious and they have been very grieving to read. These charges are not related to any immorality or financial impropriety, but this doesn’t minimize their serious nature, which include various expressions of pride, unentreatability, deceit, sinful judgment, and hypocrisy.

I believe God is kindly disciplining me through this. I believe I have by the grace of God perceived a degree of my sin, and I have been grieved by my sin and its effects on others. I have had the opportunity to confess my sin to some of those affected in various ways by my sin. And I am so very grateful for their forgiveness. But I want to perceive and confess any and all sin I have committed. Although my experience of conviction has already started—and this is an evidence of God’s mercy—I’m sure there is more for me to perceive and acknowledge. Even with the charges I disagree with it has been beneficial to examine my soul and ask for the observation of others. And I am resolved to take responsibility for my sin and every way my leadership has been deficient, and this would include making any appropriate confessions, public or private. Most importantly I want to please God during this season of examination and evaluation.

So here is what I am going to do. I’ve asked to take a leave of absence in order to give time to considering these charges, examine my heart, and receive the appropriate help from others. With the guidance of the SGM board, I would also hope to pursue reconciliation with former pastors of Sovereign Grace during this leave. I have stepped off the board and I will not be the President of Sovereign Grace Ministries during this period of examination and evaluation. In order for me to receive an objective evaluation in relation to these charges the board is securing the help of a third-party ministry that has no history of relationship with SGM. With counsel from that ministry, the board will determine the appropriate steps I should take going forward. After processing these findings, the board will determine the appropriate steps I should take going forward. This leave of absence will also help remove any impediment to the panel’s exploration that could potentially arise if I remained in my current position, and it will enable me to fully cooperate in the process.

Just so you’ll know, I have also contacted David Powlison and Mark Dever and asked them to review the charges and provide me with their counsel and correction. I have enlisted them to serve me personally during this time and to ensure this process of examining my heart and life is as thorough as possible. And for the past year I have been the recipient of Ken Sande’s correction, counsel and care. That, I am grateful to say, will continue. And as you would expect I will continue to meet with the appropriate men on the board of Sovereign Grace and benefit from their correction, counsel, and care as well. I am deeply moved as I reflect on how rich I am relationally and I am humbled by the time these men are willing to spend serving me and Sovereign Grace.

My friends, I would greatly appreciate your prayers as I continue to walk through this process. Please pray that God would give me the gift of sight where I have been blinded by my sin and others have been adversely affected by my sin. Pray that I will be convicted and experience godly sorrow resulting in reconciliation where necessary and adjustments to my heart and leadership. Thank you for praying in this way for me.

One more thing. For the past 5 years or so I have become increasingly aware of certain deficiencies in my leadership that have contributed to deficiencies in Sovereign Grace Ministries’ structure and governance, the lack of a clear and consistent process of conflict resolution and pastoral evaluation, and the number of former Sovereign Grace pastors who are offended with me/SGM. I have met with some and by God’s grace there has been reconciliation with men like Larry Tomczak (I wish I had recognized and repented of my sin against him years ago). This brings great joy to my soul. In other cases, appeals for mediation have thus far been declined, but I’m hopeful this process will facilitate further reconciliation. But beyond this, there are still issues that need to be addressed and fixed in our family of churches. And I bear a primary responsibility because it has happened on my watch and under my leadership. I have resolved that I and the Sovereign Grace team can’t effectively lead us into the future without evaluating the past, addressing these deficiencies, improving our structure, and as much as possible pursuing reconciliation with former pastors. So during this leave of absence I will not only devote all the appropriate and necessary time to the independent panel and the charges but also to doing what I can to identify where I have failed to lead us effectively in relation to pastoral evaluation and conflict resolution.

My friends, though my soul can be easily overwhelmed as I contemplate my sin and its effects on others, I am also resolved to examine my heart, address the past, and play my role in preparing SGM for a future of planting and serving churches. And given the mercy of God portrayed in the gospel my heart is filled with hope that his good purpose for us will come to pass and cannot be frustrated. I trust there will be much grace to tell you of at the end of this process.

Dave Harvey has also written a letter on behalf of the Board of Sovereign Grace Ministries:

By now you may have read C.J.’s letter about recent developments in his life and in Sovereign Grace Ministries. We want to take a moment to communicate to you as well concerning these events and inform you of the steps the SGM board is taking in response.

We understand that this news may strike some as sudden and surprising. However, a process has been unfolding over a number of months in which the board has sought to evaluate charges against C.J., assist him in examining his heart and pursuing reconciliation, and bring accountability and guidance to him in this process. Because some of the charges move beyond C.J. to SGM, we also wanted to examine ourselves and our practices both past and current. To that end, we are in the process of securing help from an outside organization that can conduct a thorough and objective review of the charges being brought against C.J. and SGM. We are seeking to identify an organization that has no prior history with us and that has wide respect in Christian circles, and we will keep you posted on that search process as we make progress. We have by no means guided this process flawlessly, but we are learning and growing through this long and difficult process. And we are encouraged by how God appears to be leading us.

It is also important for us to be clear that we are supportive of C.J.’s letter and the decisive actions he has taken. The charges against C.J. are serious, but his response has been one of self-examination and, when possible, specific confession to those sinned against. However, given the numerous events, people, and perspectives involved, the work of an independent panel will be vital to fully examining these charges and arriving at an objective conclusion, especially on those charges with which the board does not agree. We therefore believe the leave of absence is appropriate in the present circumstances to afford C.J. the time to reflect upon his heart and to allow an independent panel space to conduct its review. Like C.J., we are committed to facilitate as thorough and objective a process as possible by an independent panel.

In addition to our search for an independent panel, we have taken other steps in response to these circumstances. In order to secure a broader source of accountability and benefit from a deeper pool of wisdom, we have expanded the board to lead SGM in this season. The current regional leadership team members, all pastors in SGM churches, constitute the additional board members: Craig Cabaniss, Mickey Connelly, Rick Gamache, Pete Greasley, John Loftness, Aron Osborne, Mark Prater, and Steve Shank. We are grateful for the wisdom and experience these men bring to this board and for their willingness to serve in this capacity. To facilitate continuity in our day-to-day operations, the new board has appointed Dave Harvey to act as the interim president during C.J.’s leave of absence.

As for C.J., his primary focus during the leave of absence will be to continue to examine his heart and consider the various charges and offenses, as well as to fully cooperate with an independent panel, once chosen by the board. Any pursuit of reconciliation with aggrieved parties will be guided by the counsel of the board and the independent panel. C.J. has also fully submitted himself to the board’s direction regarding his ministry activities and external commitments during this time.

All of us carry concern for the Mahaneys personally, and the board is working to ensure that a clear and helpful plan is in place to provide adequate care for C.J. and his family during this season. This plan will integrate the local care C.J. receives with other lines of counsel he receives from those outside of SGM.

We realize there is much to process here, and much of it is disconcerting. Our theology serves us well in times like this: God is clearly at work in C.J., in our own lives, and in SGM. Our desire is to embrace all that he has for us in this season, knowing he is working for our good, however difficult that may be. To those in the SGM family of churches, our commitment is that we will, by God’s grace, seek to walk as humbly, wisely, and transparently as possible during this season, and to seek to serve and care for Sovereign Grace churches in whatever way we can. We covet your prayers, and we cherish our partnership with you now more than ever.

Marriage Life Group

Week 2 of our marriage life group is coming up this Friday night. As Jude has already mentioned we are going through Dave Harvey's When Sinner's Say I Do. Here's a few of the points I felt were notable from Chapters 1 and 2

Preface

p. 14 Gal 5:17 For the desires of the flesh are against the spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do

p. 15 To say “I am a sinner” is to stare at a fundamental reality that many people don’t even want to glance at.

p. 16 “Till sin be bitter, Christ will not be sweet.” (Thomas Watson)

Chapter 1 What Really Matters in Marriage

Theologians at the Altar

p. 20 What we believe about God determines the quality of our marriage

p. 21 So make no mistake about it. How a husband and wife build their marriage day-by-day and year-by-year is fundamentally shaped by their theology. It governs how you think, what you say, and how you act. Your theology governs your entire life and it determines how you live in your marriage.

p. 23 We obviously live in a day when the meaning of marriage is up for grabs. Unfettered from any source of authority, marriage follows culture…no matter where culture goes.

p. 25 The gospel is therefore central to all theological truth, … The gospel is the fountain of a thriving marriage. (This paragraph is the main connection to the message we listened to from Mike Bullmore on The Functional Centrality of The Gospel)

p. 25 God is the most important person in a marriage. Marriage is for our good, but it is first for God’s glory.

p. 26 Christ is the reference point for all our actions in marriage (Eph 5)

p. 27 The ‘mystery’ of marriage is that when God designed it, he had Christ and the Church in mind.

p. 28 Marriage is street level theology – i.e. a great spot to see your theology in action. …Christ certainly saved us but he does not transform us instantly and completely into non-sinners. (Justification vs sanctification)

p. 29 There needs to be an ongoing awareness of our need for ongoing grace and mercy.

p. 29 A really challenging thought… What if you saw your problems as they truly are: caused by a was within your own heart?

Chapter 2 Waking Up With the Worst of Sinners

p. 35 I Tim 1:15 (Paul – the worst of sinners) …This saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. (p 36 and 37 breaks this down a little further)

p. 37 A great awareness of one’s sinfulness often stands side by side with great joy and confidence in God.

p. 38 I recognize the enormity of my sin, seeing myself as the worst of sinners, then I understand I have been forgiven much.

p. 40 (This made me laugh) “Christ Jesus came into the world to … meet my needs, of which I have the most!”

p. 41 (The crux of the argument) Once I find 1 Tim 1:15-16 trustworthy, then my spouse is no longer my biggest problem: I am. And when I find myself walking in the shoes of the worst of sinners, I will make every effort to grant my spouse the same lavish grace that God has granted me.

p. 41 In reference to God and sin, I am not a neutral actor. (This is interesting. You ought to ask yourself what you truly believe about people? Is your feeling that people are inherently good, neutral or inherently bad? Now try and support your view biblically. Keep in mind that the bible also has plenty of directions about how we should behave towards one another. So your answer to this question doesn’t immediately give you license to treat anyone in a particular manner which you see as fit)

p. 42 Sin is always aimed first and foremost at God

p. 42 Dave describes using “asking forgiveness” as a means to an end or “a tool” by leaving God out of his considerations

p. 43 …anything we do that isn’t sin is simply the grace of God at work (see discussions on common grace from previous life groups)

p. 44 “There are two things that are suited to humble the soul of men, a due consideration of God, and then ourselves. Of God, in his greatness, glory, holiness, power, majesty and authority; ourselves, in our mean, abject and sinful condition”

Sinner!

Guys, the radiant woman on whose finger you slipped that wedding ring? ... sinner. Ladies, the man who offered you a vow of perfect faithfulness and lifelong sacrifice? ... sinner. In ceremonies all over the world, every day, without exception, it is sinners who say, "I do." It is sinners who celebrate their tenth anniversary, their twenty-fifth, and their fiftieth. It is sinners who share a final kiss at a spouse's deathbed. It is a sinner who wrote this book. And it is sinners who are reading it. (Harvey, David T. When Sinners Say "I Do": Discovering the Power of the Gospel for Marriage. Wapwallopen, PA: Shepherd, 2007. Print. 28)

Wedding Day by Laura Barbosa

Life group on marriage

We began a marriage-focused life group last week that will be using Dave Harvey's book When Sinners Say "I Do". I have begun re-reading the book and will be sharing some quotes from the book.

Early on in the book, Harvey expresses his belief that theology is and underlying yet governing aspect of our marriages. He quotes R. C. Sproul in this chapter, writing,

No Christian can avoid theology. Every Christian is a theologian [... ] the issue for Christians is not whether we are going to be theologians but whether we are going to be good theologians or bad ones.

He proceeds with his argument:

How a husband and wife build their marriage day-by-day and year-by-yearn is fundamentally shaped by their theology. It governs how you think, what you say, and how you act. Your theology governs your entire life. And it determines how you live in your marriage. (21)

What a great way to start a book on marriage.

Rescuing Ambition

Having recenlty finished Rescuing Ambition (Harvey, David T. Rescuing Ambition. Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2010. Print.), I would like to share an excerpt from that book. Here is a fairly long, but worthwhile, explanation by the author, Dave Harvey, on the purpose behind the book:

Rescue Operation
The ambition dreams I’m talking about can’t be unlocked with a surgical procedure. They need to be rescued. To rescue means to save something, to prevent it from being discarded or harmed ...

You see, I believe that ambition-godly ambiti0n, that is-is noble force for the glory of God. But let’s face it: ambition has mostly hovered outside respectability. For church leaders from Augustine to Jonathan Edwards, ambition was synonymous with the love of earthly honor, vainglory, fame-hunting-pretty slimy stuff ...

Ambition must also be rescued from a wrong understanding of humility. That may sound crazy, but I’m serious. I think this issue quenches a lot of evangelical fire. Humility, rightly understood,
shouldn’t be a fabric softener on our aspirations. When we become too humble to act, we've ceased to be biblically humble. True humility doesn’t kill our dreams; it provides a guardrail for them, ensuring that they remain on God’s road and move in the direction of his glory ...

So this book is my own little attempt at a rescue operation. The idea is to save ambition-specifically, godly ambition-and return it to where it belongs. To do this, we must snatch ambition from the dust heap of failed motivations and put it to work for the glory of God ...

I’m not rooting this perspective in common sense or well-researched psychological studies. Nope, ambition is inherent in who We are before the God who created us. The Bible teaches that people are created by God to desire-and to go after those desires with single-minded determination. It’s this capacity to desire and strive that can generate remarkable good or stupefying evil. Whether it’s to conquer nations or control the remote, we’re hardwired to be ambitious for what we want.

Why read this book? Read it to make connections between what you want and what you do . . . between your present opportunities and your future hopes . . . between your life and God’s glory. These connections rescue us from fruitlessness, pointlessness, purposelessness, and the haunting gray twilight of wasted time and lost opportunity. (14-15)

This was an excellent book that dealt with a topic that seems to be under-represented. I found it very helpful in terms of both my understanding of the topic and issues as well as my motivation to strive for things that bring God glory. I strongly recommend it.

When Sinners Say "I Do" by Dave Harvey - Chapter Four and Five, some quotes

More quotes from Dave Harvey's book on marriage When Sinners Say "I Do".


Chapter Four - Taking It Out For A Spin

• "When God saves us we are drawn to unfamiliar things - to holiness, truth, the Scriptures, and God's amazing love. As we learn more, though, we have a desire to act on what we know and believe about God...Biblically speaking, putting theology into gear means driving onto the road of wisdom. Wisdom in the Bible isn't some mystical knowledge or simple street savvy. It's the life and decisions of someone rightly related to God. It's applying what we know is true." (62-3)

• "True humility is living confident in Christ's righteousness, and suspicious of our own." (63)

• "This may be a shocker, but we should be suspicious...selectively, permanently, and internally. As the worst of sinners, in the day-to-day conflicts of marriage, I should be primarily suspicious and regularly suspicious of myself! To be suspicious of my own heart is to acknowledge two things: that my heart has a central role in my behavior, and that my heart has a permanent tendency to oppose God and his ways." (64)

• "Scripture does not give me permission to make the sins of my spouse my first priority." (66)

• "There's a lot of talk these days about the need for honesty in marriage. Unfortunately, what's being advocated looks more like a license to verbally unload on our spouse whatever we're "feeling" for the sake of "emotional honesty." Sadly, this approach in practice typically produces great hurt and offense. Though honesty is essential in marriage, we must be able to build trust and resolve offenses. The problem is not with honesty itself, but in the intent of a person's honest words." (68)

• "Can my words or behavior tempt my spouse to start or escalate a conflict? Of course...But there's nothing I can do to cause a sinful response in my spouse. The sin that emerges from a spouse's heart was already there." (73)

Chapter Five - Mercy Triumphs Over Judgment

• But deep, profound differences are the reality of every marriage. It's not the presence of differences but the absence of mercy that makes them irreconcilable." (81)

• "We don't wait to be sinned against and then try to respond with mercy. Rather, we adopt the posture of being willing to experience sin against us as part of building a God-glorifying marriage in a fallen world." (84)

• "But we must go back and ask, "What is the purpose of mercy?" Do I extend mercy to get a response? Are results the point? Is mercy some spiritual coin with which I purchase my spouse's good behavior?" (93)

Forebearance - From Dave Harvey's book on marriage

Dave Harvey

I have been enjoying Dave Harvey's book on marriage; When Sinners Say "I Do". It has been both a convicting and encouraging read. In the fifth chapter Harvey discusses an aspect of forgiveness that does not get a lot of coverage these days, at least not from what I have heard and read; forbearance.

By definition, forbearance is restraint under provocation; a refraining from the enforcement of something (as a debt, right, or obligation) that is due. Consider these paragraphs where Harvey addresses forbearance.

Maybe you didn't know this, but the Bible gives you a special privilege in dealing with sin committed against you. It's called forbearance. It means you can bring love into play in such a way that can cut someone free from their sin against you - without them even knowing or acknowledging what you've done! Forbearance is an expression or mercy that can cover both the big sins of marital strife and the small sins of marital tension. And let's face it; small sins are the fuel for most marital blazes.

Let's be careful here. Forbearance doesn't mean we tuck sin away for another time. It's not a variation on patience, nor is it some Christianized, external "niceness" where you pretend nothing bothers you. It's not even a kind of ignoring the sin, in the sense of refusing to acknowledge it.

In forbearance, we know (or at least we suspect) we have been sinned against, but we actually make a choice to overlook the offense and wipe the slate clean, extending a heart attitude of forgiveness and treating the (apparent) sin as if it never happened. Proverbs 19:11 tells us it is a "glory to overlook an offense." Forbearance is preemptive forgiveness, freely and genuinely bestowed.

Of course, righteousness often demands that we address the sin of another, even if it may create some unpleasant results. (We'll discuss this in chapter seven.) It's not forbearance to suppress a sin you can't readily release, or to prefer the pain of being sinned against to what you imagine would be the greater pain of discussing it, or to let a pattern of sin in your spouse go completely unaddressed.

Forbearance applies to specific instances of sin. It involves a clear-eyed realization that we may have been sinned against, and then a bold-hearted, Gospel-inspired decision to cover that sin with love. Peter gives us the key to forbearance. "Above all. keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8). Looks like Peter learned the lessons of Luke 6 pretty well.

When we are sinned against, we can cover it-overwrite it, if you will-with the perspective of love. Thus, forbearance includes a commitment to earnestness in love, actively holding ourselves accountable to keeping the sin covered. (When Sinners Say "I Do", 88-9)

This is definitely a topic for further study as well as accommodation into my life.

When Sinners Say "I Do" by Dave Harvey - Chapter Two and Three, some quotes

Chapter Two - Waking Up With The Worst of Sinners

• "As two people in marriage embrace this view of reality [sin is ugly], and live in accordance with it, their lives and marriage begin to look more and more like the picture God wants to display to a lost world. Until sin be bitter, marriage may not be sweet." (38)
• But once I find 1 Timothy 15-16 trustworthy - once I can embrace it with full acceptance - once I know that I am indeed the worst of sinners, then my spouse is no longer my biggest problem: I am. And when I find myself walking in the shoes of the worst of sinners, I will make every effort to grant my spouse the same lavish grace that God has granted me." (41)
• "So here is my conclusion: I am a better husband and father, and a happier man, when I recognize myself as the worst of sinners. That status just seems more obvious to me with the passing of each week. But then again, you're the worst of sinners too. So is your spouse. At least it's not lonely here at the bottom." (43)

Chapter Three - The Fog of War and the Law of Sin

• "There it is. The sides of this war are not male versus female, husband versus wife, or controller versus enabler. It is a clash of desires - desires of the flesh against desires of the Spirit. It is trench warfare for the supremacy of the human heart." (48)
• "This whole idea of seeing God, yourself, and your marriage for what they truly are is all about clear biblical thinking. Locating the source of your marriage problems in your marriage is like saying the Battle of Bull Run was caused by some really troubled farmland. The battle was fought on farmland, but its cause lay elsewhere." (51)
• "The cause of our marriage battles, friends, is neither our marriage nor our spouse. It's the sin in our hearts - entirely, totally, exclusively, without exception." (51)
• "If we see that sin's betrayal of us is the biggest problem in our marriage, it can evoke, if not a perfectly holy anger, at least an indignant courage. And that's an emotion that comes in very handy on a battlefield." (57)

When Sinners Say "I Do" by Dave Harvey - Chapter One

I have just begun reading the oft-recommended book by Dave Harvey entitled When Sinners Say "I Do". The first chapter was excellent and I'd like to share a few quotes from it. First, however, here is Dave Harvey's bio:

Dave Harvey is responsible for church care, church planting, and international expansion for Sovereign Grace Ministries. He has served as a member of the Sovereign Grace Ministries leadership team since 1995.

Dave has been in pastoral ministry at Covenant Fellowship Church (Glen Mills, PA) since 1986, was ordained in 1988, and served as senior pastor from 1990 to 2008. He has served on the board of the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation since 2006. Dave received a Master of Arts in Missiology from Westminster Theological Seminary in 1989, worked toward a Master of Divinity from Eastern Baptist Theological Seminary from 1993 to 1995, and in 2001 became a graduate in Westminster’s D.Min. program. The subject of his doctoral thesis was the identification and equipping of church planters.

Dave contributed a chapter to Worldliness: Resisting the Seduction of a Fallen World (Crossway, 2008) and is the author of When Sinners Say “I Do”: Discovering the Power of the Gospel for Marriage (Shepherd, 2007). Dave also wrote a chapter for Why Small Groups?, a book from Sovereign Grace’s Pursuit of Godliness series. He continues to work on other writing projects.

Dave lives in West Chester, Pennsylvania, with his wife, Kimm, their four children, and despite his many protests, one stray cat.

Now on to those excerpts:

It may not sound too earth-shattering at first, but based on Scripture and everything I've learned about pastoring in the last twenty-one years, I assure you that this truth can rock your world. Here it is: What we believe about God determines the quality of our marriage. (When Sinners Say "I Do", 20)

How a husband a wife build their marriage day-by-day and year-by-year is fundamentally shaped by their theology. It governs how you think, what you say, and how you act. Your theology governs your entire life. And it determines how you live in your marriage. (When Sinners Say "I Do", 21)

Three of the most important components of a solid, biblical theology of marriage: The bible is the foundation for a thriving marriage...The gospel is the fountain of a thriving marriage...The focus of a thriving marriage is the glory of God. (When Sinners Say "I Do", 22-8)

This also means that the gospel is an endless fountain of God's grace in your marriage. To become a good theologian and to be able to look forward to a lifelong, thriving marriage, you must have a clear understanding of the gospel. Without it, you cannot see God, yourself, or your marriage for what they truly are. (When Sinners Say "I Do", 25)

What if you abandoned the idea that the problems and weaknesses in your marriage are caused by a lack of information, dedication,or communication? What if you saw your problems as they truly are: caused by a war within your own heart? (When Sinners Say "I Do", 29)

Maybe you are beginning to sense that if your experience of sin is not all that bitter, and your experience of marriage not all that sweet, maybe your theology is not all that it should be. (When Sinners Say "I Do", 32)